I’ve always wondered does my mental illness affect how I handle stress? Does a non-mental illness person handle stress differently than a person who lives with mental illness?
These are questions I’ve always asked myself whenever I feel like I can’t deal or like I am going to lose it? I have yet to find an answer though.
All I know is when things do not go as planned I feel like my mind is not able to handle the stress of it all. It feels like I am overwhelmed and everything irritates me drastically because I am trying to figure out what went wrong or how I can fix it. The problem is 90% of the time things are out of my control and this adds major stress to my mind. Stress that my mind is not able to handle and things start to spiral downhill for me.
I try to tell myself it’s going to be ok relax but this hardly every works since my mind has a hard time dealing with any stress that comes my way. If that doesn’t stress enough I find myself snapping at everyone that comes into contact with me during that time.
This isn’t good when you have children they don’t get what’s going on. My two older ones if I tell them today is not a good day they tread lightly which helps but how do you get a 15-month-old to understand mommy is having a hard time with her mental illness today. The answer is you don’t. I have to force my mind and my bipolar to stay as calm as possible since she is innocent in this unfortunate crossfire.
Which just adds on to the stress my mind is already feeling. Once again leaving me with the question ”Why can’t my mind handle stress?”