Parenting with Mental Illness – Mom and Children

The clock says 1:34 in the morning and I am sitting wide awake on my bed. The big question is why in the heck am I sitting on my bed at this time. I should be knocked out in dreamland having a blast or so I hope that is where I would be at this time. But no I’m sitting here deep in thought to the point that I’m trying to find a way to let my emotions out. Trying to find a way to vent where those around me won’t get in my way.

In my current situation since we are homeless living in a motel, this is not possible. This has been driving me nuts utterly insane. Since we had bought the van I would go in the van to think. I also went in there to dump my emotions if need be with no one around me. I struggle to express myself and it’s worse when others are around. Sometimes I want to vent about those around me but don’t want to make them feel bad because I’m triggered so I just vent it out and keep it pushing.

Hence why I have nowhere to turn to but Word Press right now since all of the kids are asleep I won’t disturb them. Their dads binge-watching a show so he’s not being disturbed either. I get to release some of my pent-up stress, feelings, and emotions. It would be nice to be in a better position so that I could have more than one option.

Sidebar: found this in my drafts on my app from September 2021. I am not sure why it’s in my drafts but there is no point in letting it just sit there.