Venting About My Disability And The Stress It’s Causing

I swear on everything I love, I am trying my hardest to not feel disabled and discriminated against as I do. We must leave the motel we currently stay at for many different reasons. They do not want us here anymore since I keep speaking up on my YouTube channel when things are illegal, unfair, or plain old wrong.

My rent was supposed to be paid by the RRP program until the end of September. I was told two days ago that they no longer want to rent to me and that I have 30 days to find somewhere else to go. As if I haven’t been looking for a place to live for a long while now. At one point, I didn’t have money for application fees, and I refused to apply for a place I hadn’t seen before, spending money that we didn’t have.

It has been so hard finding a place that has available three bedrooms that are wheelchair accessible. My mental health skill builder and I have been calling places to see if they have anything available, and it has been challenging, especially with the income I had before getting my SSI approved. Besides these obstacles, not having transportation to get to these places with my wheelchair is extremely hard for me.

On the days we make an appointment to see anything or do something to help us out of here, I have to pray that my legs aren’t hurting so bad, which messes up my ability to even walk a short distance. So even though I plan to go to apartments to walk around the apartment before I apply, it doesn’t always work out that way. I may wake up with so much pain that I can’t risk trying to walk anywhere. This puts a monkey wrench in my plans, and I am stuck with getting info over the phone and waiting to see if they have availability since half the time, they do not answer their phones smh.

I attempted to go with my mental health skill builder today to find an extended stay so we could move two, but with no luck regarding wheelchair-accessible rooms that allow four people. Everywhere we went, the rooms came with a queen size bed which only allowed two people. We are a family of four, so that did not let us get the room. Every place was the same, and each no made me feel even more handicapped and like my children were better off without me.

Don’t get me wrong, I know this isn’t true on the part of my kids being better off without me but when you feel discriminated against since yes, they are wheelchair accessible, but they are not equipped for four people. As I mentioned to each property, so wheelchair individuals not allowed to travel with family then? How has no one caught on to this before? I had an excuse that I never needed a wheelchair-accessible room before I ended up in this wheelchair, so of course, I wouldn’t need to know until now.

This is not right, and it’s not fair, for we deserve to have a place to go and rent if we want to take a vacation. I shouldn’t have to pay for two rooms leaving two of my children who have autism in a room with no supervision. Don’t get me wrong, Beba can handle her own, but it would leave her with Booger, who triggers her with his selfish ways since Stank would fight to be in the room with me, and let’s not mention how much more money it would take to pull that off.

I can keep writing for days about how much stress my disability is causing and how I struggle to find a safe home for my family. It sucks to be in this position, but I am my biggest cheerleader, and I will find a way to make it work. Thank you for reading this far and letting me vent my stressors of the day to you.

May you have a blessed rest of your weekend, and remember to love yourself. I did this by taking the time to write this blog to move past all of this stress and keep myself with a high vibration. Until the next blog or stressor!


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