Parenting with Mental Illness – Mom and Children

I am trying something new with my platform. I have a live planned for once a week now on Instagram in hopes of giving myself more exposure but also helping others understand what I do and why I do it. I am so used to pre-recording that whenever I am thinking of going live I get nervous and anxious which drives me crazy.

I have been trying to figure this out for a little over a year now but with no definite answer as to why I react that way. It has actually stopped me plenty of times from going live due to how I get before. I am a weed smoker for my chronic pain and mental health. Even if I smoke right before it is time to go live I still feel my heart thumping outside of my chest.

I do not get like that when I plan to record in any shape way or form. I don’t get nervous it doesn’t matter if it is for YouTube or my podcast. I do not get nervous it just makes no sense to me. I feel like it happens to drive me crazy lol. Maybe I am the one causing all of this anxious and nervous energy that happens to pop up right before I go live.

What am I really afraid of. Yes, it isn’t prerecorded so it can not be edited which means I have to watch closely what I say and I need to stay focused since I am not able to pause the live technically and then resume. I must inform, educate or entertain those on the live and those that will watch the replay. I just needed to talk or type this out so that I can release all of my thoughts that aren’t helping me at the moment.

I figured it would be too short of a video to talk it out since I knew I only had 10 minutes left before I had to go live. You guys were the quickest and best option for me due to the circumstances. Plus I am trying to have Tuesdays and Thursdays as my blog days. I know I haven’t been writing as much as I should but mentally I have a lot going on, especially with trying to find a place to live. Well, wish me luck off to the live I go!